Understanding
by shialuvr222
Summary: Your heart shatters. You've waited for her for years. You've loved her in silence. If not for her, what would your life mean? Doesn't she see that you're looking for more?


A/N: I just came up with this, completely spur of the moment. Actually, as I'm editing this on the website, I'm coming up with it as I go along. I was going to upload a different oneshot, but I'll do that later. This is a semi-songfic to Call Me by Shinedown (awesome band), and this is most definitely McAbby. I was sitting there, quite literally in physical pain at the thought that they aren't together, and _voila!_ This popped into my head. Enjoy, all you hardcore, obsessed fanatics of this wondermous pairing. Like me :)

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS, it belongs to CBS and Donald Bellisarius. I don't own the song Call Me, it belongs to Shinedown. I don't own the characters of Timothy McGee or Abby Sciuto, or anone else I may mention in this fic. I do own the fic, though. Please don't sue me.

_Call me a sinner, call me a saint  
>Tell me it's over, I'll still love you the same<br>Call me your favorite, call me the worst  
>Tell me it's over, I don't want you to hurt<br>It's all that I can say  
>So I'll be on my way...<br>_

"No," she says. "No, I can't do this."

She pulls away from you, away from the kiss you hadn't given her yet.

Your heart shatters. You've waited for her for years. You've loved her in silence. If not for her, what would your life mean?

"What's wrong?" You ask quietly, your voice strangled.

"You're my best friend, Tim, but this is more than that."

Doesn't she see that you're looking for more?

"We can't come back from this. If something goes wrong, we lose everything we have. I'm not willing to risk that."

Some risks are worth taking, you want to scream. But you don't. You stay silent, like you always do.

"I'm sorry."

She begins to walk away. Every step she takes feels like a blow. You can't breathe.

But you're used to it, aren't you?

You should be, anyway. Every time you're away from her, you suffocate. Every time she smiles, you fall more in love with her. And every time she says "best friend", your pain doubles. Oh, what you would give for her to be yours.

She doesn't know how much you care. That, you realize, is the biggest tragedy of all.

Before you can stop yourself, you call out her name. "Abby!"

She turns. "What?"

What do you do now?

All you can do is tell her the truth. You know that, however much you love her, if she doesn't want this, you can't push her into anything. You can't cause her pain. But you can tell her how you feel.

You take a few steps to close the distance between you again. "There's something you need to know."

What an understatement. There's so much she needs to know. How she never fails to cheer him up, or how he understands her.

"No, there's something you need to understand. We... We are too different. You and I aren't looking for the same things, and I think we should just save ourselves some heartbreak and forget this ever happened."

You have to tell her. Even if she rejects you, she can't hurt you more than she already has.

"No. I'm not going to forget."

She looks at you, shocked that you contradicted her. You never contradict her.

"I'm not going to forget because I love you. You've never understood that. I know that you have trust issues. And honestly, I've passed the point of caring if you're ready for this or not."

It's true. At this point, you just need to say what you need to say and get it over with.

"You can tell me you don't want this. You can tell me you don't feel the same way. But that won't change the way _I_ feel. Whether you want to hear it or not, I love you."

And now, the silence. The blank look she's giving you. You just stare at her with an honest expression, because you don't know what else to do. You just poured your heart out.

Now you have to wait for her to respond.

Finally. An emotion crosses her face. It's gone in a moment, but it was there.

Understanding.

She opens her mouth to speak, unable to find words at first. Then she takes your hand.

"Maybe," she says, somewhat hesitantly, "Maybe this could work."

A/N: Questions? Thoughts? Startling revelations? I don't know if you don't review. ;)


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